dupo (dupo) wrote,


do you ever feel like you just drift through life without being noticed or appreciated? for some reason, i've been feeling that a lot lately. i feel like a person people take for granted and then just throw away. i never really thought about it until after last friday, when i went about the whole day alone. it was my birthday. i received a phone call from my parents, and that's all. usually i could give a shit about that sort of thing, but for some reason it really bothered me. my whole life i've gone out of my way to help my friends and family. i've never tried to take the selfish road through life. i don't do it to try to get on someone's good side, i do it because it makes me feel good. it gives me something to live for. a few weeks ago, i moved into my new house. i was only able to get my parents and 2 brothers to help me move. i've help dozens of friends/relatives move over the years and they all offered to return the favor. to my surprise, i couldn't find one that was willing to help me out when the time came. it's strange because i've never seen any of my friends/relatives as being selfish people. i hardly ever witness it. i feel like they've all gotten together and made it a point to ignore me. that's just the anxiety talking. if you don't want anything to do with me, i'd rather be told to piss off then completely ignored. i feel like a ghost. next time a favor is asked of them, maybe i should tell them to fuck off... maybe not...

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